Top Ten Things the Dollar is Still Useful For

♠ Posted by Emmanuel in at 2/28/2008 08:57:00 PM
According to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad--a blogger just like me--"the dollar has no economic value." Ol' Mahmoud wasn't quite right, but surely it's getting near that point as B-B-B-Bennie of the Feds keeps cutting rates Stateside. Inflation? What's that? Let me be perfectly honest and explain the source of my pique: since late last year, I have been trying to change my remaining dollars into something more useful, namely Euros. However, there has been no buying opportunity as dips in the EUR/USD rate have been hard to come by. And things are getting worse for dollar holders (suckers, patsies, dupes) as the Euro is now trading above $1.52. While I wait in my pumpkin patch for a buying opportunity, I've decided to vent some of my anger. I'm sure none of you who have the misfortune of holding dollars are happy, either. What a piece of junk...

Top Ten Things the Dollar is Still Useful For

10. Confetti when “President Obama” brings the troops home from Iraq
9. Styrofoam substitute when sending packages via eBay
8. Semi-flightworthy paper airplanes
7. Exceedingly narrow paper boats
6. Wrap for homemade cigarettes
5. Wrap for reefers (“Don’t Fear the Reefer” for you Blue Oyster Cult fans)
4. Replacement for Saran wrap for that smoky flavoring (tape bills together)
3. Substitute for children's play money (ooh, the irony)
2. Kitchen wipes
1. Toilet wipes (that ain’t too Charmin)